Is the Hotwife Lifestyle Harder on the Husband? Was It Worth It?

Hi, everybody. Welcome in. Thank you so much for being here tonight. If you're new, I am Happy. And this is my husband. Hello. We've been together 32 years and married 27. We've been living the Hotwife life on purpose since 2016. All of this comes back to one thing for us. The internet shows the fantasy version of this life, and we want to show you what it really looks like inside a real marriage. So tonight, my husband is in the hot seat. On Episode 2, he said something that I want to talk about. Mm-hmm. He said this lifestyle was harder for him than it was for me. So, babe. Yes. I want to ask you. Yes. Was it really harder for you?

How would yours be harder? Do you think it's harder for me? Yes. I think it's harder. That's pretty nice. I'm pretty sure that, I mean, that's what everybody knows, and it's just part of what we all get into when we talk about doing this. I mean, it's obviously not easy thinking about watching your wife with another man, you know? And that's not the part I care about. I love just watching her, like, in those moments. And, like, it's different when you can step back, you know? And I think, as we all know, most people have some kind of fantasies hidden in there that like to see their partner with somebody else. Or think about it. I don't know. But we've talked about it. We tease about it. We've played about it for years. And then when we finally do, that's just the way it is, though. It's like it's easier for the man, probably, when it's still in fantasy mode, and she's not all on board. The second she gets on board, I guarantee you, most men are slowing the roll a little bit, you know?

They're pulling back because it's different. And most of this fantasy is led by the men anyway. They want to see their wives, you know? They just do. I mean, you love your wives, and what's better than... I mean, what's better? This is probably better. You can see the same thing when you're with her. It's not like that, but it's different when you're not with her in the moment. Because you're not feeling that. You're just looking at her, and you know how all that feels. But yeah, that's the hard part. It's another man, but it's part of the game. It just is what it is. It's not like... It's like, what, going to the gym? It's hard getting there, but once you're there, you have a good time. Yeah, I mean, well, you do. Yeah, you do. You have a really good time. And that's what I like seeing, actually.

I mean, that's what it's all about, because I don't know, some of these other episodes, we're talking about some of this too, and I don't want to get too repetitive on every episode, but that's what it is. I just like seeing you flip that switch and unapologetically just own it and enjoy yourself, and you like pushing my buttons and... Absolutely. I mean, the hard part, it's harder for you, for sure. So, was there ever a night that you almost said stop? Yeah, there's always... I mean, yeah. There has been nights when we kind of stuck, cut it short, but... You have a safe word. We have a safe word. Yeah. Well, I'm not going to say what the safe word is. I can't even remember it, so it doesn't do any good if you have a safe word, and you can't remember it. So, basically, it's like, babe, let's go. I don't know. Or something, I don't know.

Well, I remember the safe word, so I guess I'll have to remind you. It's been that long, huh? So, that's a good thing. You don't need to know. I've never said a safe word. All right. So... ...understood about how hard it is for the husband, or... It's not really hard because we enjoy watching our wives enjoy themselves, you know? Obviously, it's the whole mix of things, and it's like people that have an adrenaline rush. It's kind of like, it's a whole mind and emotion rush that you're watching, and it's surreal. Is it worth it? I mean, yeah. It's like, I mean, there's a lot of things that are hard. That's the thing. Most people just want to be comfortable, and they don't understand that some of the great things are not easy.

Some of the most rewarding things aren't easy. Some of the things you get the most out of aren't easy. Most people don't understand it because it's not easy. They ask you, anyway, let's go on to the next question. I don't want to keep going on that. I was trying to get a little piece of that going, but I don't know if I said it right. All right. So, this is your last question. Was it worth it? I just answered that one. I mean, yeah, we're still doing it. Yes. I mean, it's hot. She's hot. I like seeing her confidence, and yep, she's something else. Now, I want to ask, husbands, I'd love to know, how did you first bring this up to your wife, or are you still trying to figure it out? How? Ladies, what scared you most before the first time? For me, it was walking through that door. Yes, it was.

But why did that scare you, I think is what they want to know. Why? Why did it scare me? What about entering the lifestyle scared you? What kept you from doing it? I would have to say overthinking. I overthink too much, and yeah, hoping everything turns out good, and safe, and fun, and yeah. And it's just pressure from society, a lot of that. So we were raised to think that that's not how things go, you know, you got to do it the way everybody else did it. We've never been like that, so we figured we'd try it, and like she took that no thank you bite. Yes, I did. But it was, I want more bite. Okay, so if anyone here is still in the talking stage, you're not behind.

We talked about this for 20 years before we ever did anything. Well, we kind of talked like, I mean, we talked kind of the naughty way before we even knew what Hotwifing was. I don't even know how long that word's been around, but we didn't know about it back then. But we talked about like you doing things like flashing or losing bets and flashing or different things, and then just slowly escalated. And then somehow we found the word Hotwife and kind of started talking more like that. Yes, here I go with the yeses again. Yes, so we were listening to the first podcast, and I was like, we need to make a drinking game out of this every time she says yes, another drink. So go back and listen to the first episode and see what you think. Yes, make sure you make sure you're not going anywhere. Well, okay, so I know I said earlier in our Inner Circle, I was asking, you know, what season everyone was in.

And hopefully, everybody understood what I was talking about. And I meant season as in, like, Stag, Cuckold, you know, seasons. And Cuckolding does come in seasons for my husband. Sometimes he's more Stag. Yeah, and some seasons are wild and crazy and fun and some are quiet, and some are just hubby and I. So every version of how can I say this, not every version, but the marriage stays the same. And only the version changes. So yeah, just how we play it. I mean, I mean, I know you always like the Cuckold side and yes, my songs have came out to be pretty harsh.

If you're on the outside and not understanding, but that's pure fantasy that we talk about. And, well, I mean, fantasy mixed with the reality. Yes, it's both. Well, I know somebody was worried about, you know, the game that we play and stuff and, you know, like, I was told that I am a little harsh on you. And so sometimes, you know, I probably should calm it down a little bit, but it's our game. That's what we play and what, you know, you and I both know that it's all for fun and I don't do anything to hurt you. So yeah, and the songs are more like for the kind of build on that fantasy part. The book that we wrote is about the truth behind it all. And the website has a lot of that, all the truth too.

So we're trying to get a group of like-minded people that can spread the lifestyle and some of the truth behind it, you know. But we're all learning and that's what is another reason why, you know, this Circle was built because we learned from each other. And, you know, even though someone hasn't been in it as long as us, doesn't mean that we can't learn from them. So everybody can learn from someone. It changes all the time. And it's also good just to have this group to know that there's other normal people out there that do the same thing. So that's what I'm looking forward to. And then, I mean, there's always meetups and whatever events that we could maybe all find a way to. That'd be fun. Yes. So and if you have our book, please leave a review. That really helps too. If you have any questions, you can send it to HappyHotwife.com/ask.

Good night.